little miss kechik

Graveyard shift

2011-10-25T08:33:00.003+08:00

Going to bed without the boobs has really changed mons sleeping patterns. She would sleep at 12..wakes up at 4..and sleeps again at 7! If m lucky, i could take her to the park.. And she's running around like she has slept for 8 hours the night before.. Comes back from the park and. Sleeps until 4. Or.. Sleeps At 7, and woke up at 4. Or, sleeps at 4, and wakes up at 4.

Confused? So am i. Heheehe. So i dunno what time her 2nd birthday party shall be.. And has cancelled all holiday plans. Sigh..

Did i mention she has sorta relapsed? But she goes back to the boobs for like once a day. For a fix i think. Junkie. Hehehhe

self led..

2011-10-19T23:54:00.002+08:00

has it been that long?? my last post was 27th july! well.. it has been a super crazy couple of months. which drained the hell out of me.

but i finally blogged again.. because.. mons has wean herself of the breast. by herself. and it has been a very emotional 3 days for me. with no one to turn to cos i dunno anyone who went through the same thing. sobs.

i did notice she was nursing a lot last week.. and the last few days all she does is bite, bite bite. so on monday night i sort of..sort screamed at her to stop biting or i'll stop breastfeeding her. she cried a bit. and that night everytime i tried nursing her, she'd cry her eyes out saying "nanakkk nanakkk noooo noooo"

she ended up sleeping at 5am that day. i tried again the next day.. and she still refuses me outright. which hurts. really bad. and she wasn't quiet herself with me. my mom told me she was kind of quiet, and was just hanging around her and hugging her a lot during the last 2 days.

tonight she's all huggy2 with me. and it made me wonder was it because of the meltdown we had on monday night..was she still sulking..? but she can't be that determined kan?

well.. she is. she would come up to me and say.."mimi (mommy), nak nen..(nenen)" and would stop mid sentence and says "tak, tak (no, no)". like, something triggered her that she shouldn't be doing this. it kills me to see that!

i know she saved me tonnes ..i cant sleep at night thinking how in the world am i going to wean her.. my friends are already tell me their horror weaning stories.. letak kunyit la.. kopi la.. segala bagai.. but when she self wean abruptly.. i felt totally rejected.

and tonight, she just hugged me.. and fell asleep.

sigh. emo gua minggu ni.

the chemistry between us..

2011-07-27T22:25:00.001+08:00

Whenever m on long leave.. her monsy cheeks came back. She eats well. Sleeps well. She's just a whole lot happier. Now.. Why can't that be the biggest reason to leave work? Sigh. Heehee (alasan)

The day i became wiser

2011-07-26T21:49:00.001+08:00

Probably the longest overdue thing on my list..to have my wisdom teeth removed. I've been having these on&off pain for years. But since my dentist assured me it either my flu.. Or a sinus (which i never had),or 'i just can't see it coming yet (well, d'uhh??). Until i insisted on an xray last may. Or was it april.

And there they weRe. All 4 of them. I think i've told this story before.

So i had to wait for caveman to come home to get the surgery done. As i was initially told i had to be warded for 1 night. Sigh. I was more worried about mons, then of the surgery.

The best news came a day before the surgery when they told me its a day thing. Means i can leave in the evening. Yeay!

So there we were, at 6.30 am at pantai hospital,ipoh. As scheduled. Got to my ward, it was a 4 bedded ward. Which i hated. I have never been hospitalised before (mons was delivered at a private ob-gyn). Got my scrubs. And waited. The Wifi was so laju i tell ya. Hehe! So that wasn't so bad.

Then some nurses came. Then my dentist came. Said it is scheduled at 9.30, and it should end by 10.30. but as i will be under GA (general anestethic), the recovery will take some time. Urgh.

Wheelchaired out of the ward (first time too), into the operating theather, i lost count of the number of people who asked me 'is there any allergies that we should know off?'.

There's a waiting bay. A parking bay. And so many people running around. 1 medical officer. 1 anestethis. More nurses. All smily faces trying to make me feel better. Geez. The operating theater was white. And huge. And cold. at one point i thought this ain't a dental surgery, this is cardiac! Recite my zikir once the oxygen came on,and alhamdulilah i was still reciting it when i woke up.

The chronology was .. 9.30, starts. 10.30 ends. 12.30 woke up. Threw up.Gibberrish. Bla bla laloq. 4.30pm fully awake.

my throat was dry. Had no voice. Dried blood in my lips&nose. lapar. the warm barley the nurse gave me almost killed me. Sakit! I was on ice diet since. had tutti fruiti on our way back. Yums.

And turn out, they only extracted the bottom horizontal wisdom teeth. The upper teeth were too far up. Sigh. Now all i can eat is cold porridge. And mons has probably gained her monsy cheecks back now that m at home. And i have lost 3kg to date. Nevermind the squared jaws. Heheh!

Walaupun..

2011-07-24T15:56:00.001+08:00

Dearly missed..

2011-07-19T09:52:00.001+08:00

Al fatihah..

2011-07-18T20:33:00.001+08:00

Saya suka kedai buku!

Anak kucing

2011-07-17T10:44:00.001+08:00

Walaupun..

2011-07-13T09:10:00.001+08:00

Walaupun audit fail..yang mungkin menyebabkan kpi saya ranap..walaupun saya tak habis lagi ganti puasa masa saya mengandung dulu.. Walaupun baju raya tak nampak kelibat lagi..
Walaupun raya ini mungkin takde bonus lagi..
Tapi..as a mature woman who shall lose all of her ingrown wisdom teeth (count 4) in a week's time..

Saya redha.

Dan dengan siapnya prototype paper bag hebat saya (yang saya akan terus siapkan di surau sepanjang bulan ramadhan).. Dan dengan cuti 2 hari yang telah saya, err, apply (apply in malay is..???)

Saya tak sabar tunggu ramadhan tahun ni..

P/s : mungkin juga sebab sahabat dunia akhirat saya, sang yummy mummy balik beraya tahun ni.. Weee!

Ramadhan is..here!

2011-07-12T16:20:00.001+08:00

I know Ramadhan is about 2 weeks plus from today.. But m just super excited. Usually ramadhan&eid got me really sappy for i missed arwah mak (my late grandmother) the most during this period. But this year, m super excited because :
1. Bersyukur sebab dapat jumpa ramadhan lagi (kalau tahun ni tak pulun jugak memang tak guna satu sen la!).
2. I think its the age factor (people die young these days, note to self).
3. And also the fact that munchkin (she is no longer mons, very petite) is almost 2 and will be super adorable in a caftan her tante aas will make for her..matchy2 with mommy..ow yeah i've fallen into THAT band wagon.
4. You know that itch to plan a party? Since nov is miles away, and m still the hostess w/ the mostess this year (caveman will be offshore again this raya, but hei! MIL buhhbye!).. Who says you can't plan parties during ramadhan&syawal. Of course kita takle panggil party, gile?? I read in a book by nik aziz on ramadhan, a sip of water given away in ramadhan pun besor pahalanye. Insyaallah.

So i dont think its right to blog about the activities in ramadhan (dapat telur angsa je nanti), but m sure posting this photo up is ok..

A paper bag, doylies & polkadot ribbons. Eheeeee

Vitamin c

2011-07-06T09:55:00.001+08:00

Sun kissed muffins ..woots!

Feel like a ..

2011-06-27T08:28:00.001+08:00

Million bucks..hehe

Yummsengg

2011-06-25T16:13:00.001+08:00

Yummy chocolate muffins!yeay

anniversary..

2011-06-20T10:59:00.001+08:00

Happy 40th anniversary mama&abah! Made this via my dear friend hani, of sarsha ideas..

Where i want to be..

2011-06-19T10:26:00.001+08:00

Should stop shopping..and start saving..hee

pixie cut

2011-06-18T16:54:00.001+08:00

Mons's hair has been very fine..and curly since her first day. And lately my mom have been complaining how unruly her hair is. Her curls are out of this world. Hee.

I've been contemplating in taking her to my hairdresser. m not sure how she'll react to it. But since its a really nice place,m quiet sure she'll like it.

So we took her to my hair dresser of 9 years. And mons instantly likes him. She was waving her hand.. Saying hi. And waited patiently for her turn. Mula2 dia gabra gak la, mana tak nye.. Masuk2 ade nyonya tengah set rambut. Hehe.

Mula2 my mom dukung. Lama2 naik seh duduk kat baby chair plak. She kept saying haa cantik.. Cantik.. Heheh.

And now her hair is a super cute pixie cut. Hopefully it grows into a really nice length now that they are all of the same length. Hehe!

Sambutan hari bapa..

2011-06-18T16:06:00.001+08:00

Cucu atok..hehe

mons's 1st saloon trip..

2011-06-18T15:39:00.001+08:00

Woohoo

Tiga puluh dua..

2011-06-10T15:17:00.001+08:00

30 years ago.. I moved to lumut, from jb.. Where the roads are so empty you can hear yourself blink. But i loved our first home here. It had a huge bath tub. And a huge play room for all my toys.
according to my parents, i met my bestie lis at about the same time too. Sorang cakap ayam, sorang lagi itik.
Ntahla, i can't really recall. Hee.

30 years later.. I have called lumut home. Again. And it has a super cute bath tub. And a cute little nursery for my baby girl. And lis is still my bestie. And we talk ayam&itik all the time.

20 years ago.. Got my first real crush. Was so smitten, m still blushing when i think about it now *lol* got my period. Bloomed into a heavy chested girl who stood at 130cm. Sigh. and i was 30kg. Hehe.

20 years later.. My first crush is an engineer somewhere out there. I knew cos he went to the same uni with me. And my tits are still huge thank you for asking *lol* and please don't ask me about my weight. Heheh.

10 years ago.. I started my first job. Broke my heart real bad. Knew the true meaning of a shopaholic. And workaholic.

10 years later.. Still at my first job. The heart breaker is a dad of two& still calls& text me telling me he misses me (yucks i know). Still a shopaholic. Workaholic, not so much. Hee.

Today.. i'm a wife to my darl caveman. A mom to cheeky mons. still a darling in my parents eyes *lol*
i watched everyone younger then me grew into becoming happy, successful young men&women.. Some are moms&dads.. Some just got married & i thought how fast time flies..

M still friends with the people i know 30, 20, 10 years ago. And i still get birthday wishes from them that never fails to make my heart all warm&toasty.

At 32, life is good alhamdulillah.

Playlist..

2011-06-09T01:08:00.001+08:00

If i were to compile a playlist of Mon's Favourite Songs Before She's 2..20 years from now she would've looked back& thought..damn i was a cool baby.

Which is why m thinking of a playlist project for her. Growing up, don't you ever wonder what you liked when you were a baby? If your parents are like mine, there's a very slim chance they still remember. I only remembered what i liked after the video recorder era started. My dad would record a list of videos (mj, boy george, duran duran was tops of my list hehe) & i'd be playing them to death.

Hannah loves the mtv. More then her cartoons. A vc would start & she will immediately know who is was. Sher (usher), beber (who else??), pis (b.e.p), abang, kakak (ni kalau nama susah beno nak ingat).

Her current and past super favourites are :

1. Panic!at the disco - ballad of mona lisa (ini sangat saya kagumi cos even i find the band a little too weird. This is i suspect was due to the very good looking male lead)
2. Foo fighters - no idea the name of the song but the vc is b&w
3. Everything from bruno mars. Uhuh. Besides bieber, she is practically in love w/ this dude. I dont blame her. Hee
4. Everything from bieber. She is a belieber. Probably the only thing i don't agree w/. Nuff said.
5. Everything from travie mccoy. Very good looking indeed (see a pattern emerging?)
6. That party anthem song.. Everyday m shuffling..hehhe
7. Rihanna's. Cos all of her songs will have a 'nana nana' line. And mons love it cos she calls herself nana. Go figure.
8.anything with b.o.b in them. Kalau feat. B.o.b pun suka jugak. Bob, bob die jerit. Hee. Currently she likes jessie j's price tag.
9. big time rush - bo bo bo boyfriend. Lol! Yucks. I blame the disney channel.
10. Wiz khalifa - woots. This one i sokong abeh le. Initially i didn't like this dude. I thought he looked high most of the time (menyerongeh for no apparent reason).. But after mons made me youtube him.. Wooh!

And oh yea. She loves lady gaga. Sigh..

Shioknye..

2011-06-05T15:17:00.001+08:00

Korek idung.. Hehehe

Beat the heat with kitty..

2011-06-03T16:57:00.001+08:00

Ow yeahh

Sending polkas in the air..

2011-06-01T15:09:00.001+08:00

Aww..aren't these lovely?i love my new part - time - but - i - wanna - make -it - fulltime - job. Hehehe.

won't you just love receiving these in the mail?

To the dearly departed..

2011-05-29T12:43:00.001+08:00

Mons..watching the lifeless headphone. its bubbly headphone was given to her by achu when she was in my belly. As she smashed it to the floor (mode : cranky toddler), there goes an ancient piece.

Sigh.

Morocan abaya

2011-05-24T11:05:00.001+08:00

Aren't these morocan abaya rad? Love!

Pujaan hati..

2011-05-20T04:28:00.001+08:00

How can one be mad at such an angelic face?

Eventhough it's 2am, and she woke up crying for god knows why (and i still couldn't figure it out)..and stayed up until 4.

And made you watch pororo with her. But thank god for mtv.

And don't forget that you had a really crappy day 10 hours earlier. And probably another crappy day in 4 more hours.

But look at that...awwwww..

Mons..

2011-05-18T14:59:00.001+08:00

Penuh gambo die je kat opes. Sampai ade branch manager tanye.. Gambo husband takde ke? Heheheh

Here kitty kitty..

2011-05-13T15:43:00.000+08:00

I bought a hello kitty watch for mons a couple of weeks ago. Its a cheapo watch,where there's a button&when pushed.. Tadaa a hello kitty appears. Tutup lampu..just turn the dial and there's like 12 different hello kitty on my wall. Happy camper she is.

She likes cats, you see. i hate cats. Especially hello kitty. But according to my mom, at some point in my life, i did like hello kitty. Oh well, tak ingat kirenye tak kire la. Hehe.

So since she's so into hello kitty, i thought maybe we could do a hello kitty birthday this year. I know la november is 6 freakin months from now.. But for me 6 months is very sekejap ok. I have things around my room for over 3 months, still not able to put them in their designated place.

These cake pops are to die for kan? I so wanna learn to make them. Tapi tak taula kan.. Hehe.

Source : bakerella

Minah posing

2011-05-12T19:09:00.000+08:00

tooth fairy

2011-05-09T16:12:00.002+08:00

i've been complaining about my wisdom tooth for years now. it come and go. but this year. i insisted on having an xray done. and.. tadaaa.. much to my dislike.. there they are.. all 4 of themm.. waiting to sprung out. unfortunately, there were no space left on either side.. up or down. worst.. the bottom teeth.. has grown horizontally.. and pushing the tooth next to it. ouch. indeed.

so i went to pantai specialist..since they there were the only one with a dental surgeon.. and i was told it's a big deal. which means i have to be warded. which means i have to wait for caveman to come back in june. which also means.. i have to leave mons for at least 1 night. what??!? this is not happening!!

but maybe i'll lost all those extra weight..since i'll only be on liquid diet? hmmm....

Childhood friends..

2011-05-09T09:16:00.001+08:00

When i was a toddler..the only friends i had was my brothers. Though they hated me, and even planned my assasination *lol*, they were all i got. and the other friend i had was a boy whom parents are my parents' best friends. And my mom said i had an imaginary sister. Spooky.

Then we moved to taman hijau..where we lived for the next 26 years (until i got married&moved in to our mushroom pad..and dragged my parents along). And suddenly i have a huge group of friends. Ranging from as old (some older) then my brothers..to some younger tots (whom became our subject of bully hee). And most of us are still friends until today as our parents are very close friends even after all these years. All of us are married with kids now.. except for those of the same age as my baby brother.

I'm telling you all this because i was nursing hannah when one of them called. Usually i'd just ignore his call if i'm busy&call him or text him later. But he kept calling me. And then the dreaded news came. His eldest brother passed away today. He fainted this morning..and passed away after Maghrib. He is probably 39,or 40..only a few years older then my eldest brother.

And this news shook my entire family. It is like losing a family member. Suddenly my childhood came flashing through. Suddenly i realise, there's so many things in life i took for granted.

I know my brothers are super sad by this. With this i extend my condolences to their family.. And will be praying semoga roh arwah abang amiezal ditempatkan bersama orang orang yang beriman.

Al Fatihah..

When the going gets tough..

2011-05-06T15:04:00.001+08:00

Things have been spiralling downwards for me at work. For a few years now. And i just let it all fall around me.

Sometimes when i look at mons.. I'd pick myself up&carry on.i mean,who would hire a 30 something mom ..and everyone i ask tells me they can't afford me. And nothing beats the health benefit we got. I do have my parents & mons to consider. And to think caveman's company does not provide any medical benefit. And don't get me started on the mortgage.

So we were told the audits are coming. Since the news, i've been depressed, to a point it is affecting my bonding time w/ mons. m now to tired to play w/ her & find her antiques pinching on my nerves. She would scream in horror when i start raising my voice. She would later look me in the eye&grin her ever beautiful grin.. And i feel like punching myself for being such a monster.

Today i had a talk with my mom. Because.. A friends of ours at a nearby branch is in coma. I just met him last thursday. We were bashed up left, right, front&back at the performance meeting. Yesterday he fainted. one of his veins in his head burst. it was mainly due to stress.

it got me thinking.. If this jobs take such turn in my life.. What would happen to my family..?but can i really leave this job? And while my mom&i were talking..mons said.. Tanak!tanak! Tak bagik berenti le gamaknye *lol*

That is when i decided.. If my bos can't be a good boss.. Maybe i should be the boss. *lol* hei.. At the end of the day.. In a couple of years he's gonna get promoted since he's already in a higher job grade. My friends & i would probably spend the next donkey years here anyways. So we might as well take care of ourselves. By.. Managing this place on our own (like we're doing now).

He told us this morning.. Kalau audit tanya.. Jawabla. So fine. From now on, he will be there only to sign things. That's all he's worth anyways.

So good morning lady boss.. Let's get back to work!

When the going gets tough..

2011-05-06T14:45:00.001+08:00

Things have been spiralling downwards for me at work. For a few years now. And i just let it all fall around me.

He told us this morning.. Kalau audit tanya.. Jawabla. So fine. From now on, he will be there only to sign things. That's all he's worth anyways.

So good morning lady boss.. Let's get back to work!

satin anyone?

2011-05-03T16:40:00.001+08:00

Aren't these lovely?the satin shawls i mean..*lol* sape nak let me know..

the lazy song

2011-04-30T22:11:00.004+08:00

mons love bruno mars.. and travie mccoy..and of course.. justin bieber. the lazy song is her latest craze. i thought its super funny. especially the synchronized monkeys..

Mommy&mons

2011-04-30T20:32:00.002+08:00

100 a day for 100 days

2011-04-26T18:23:00.001+08:00

I got a weeee bit influenced by a friend's fb photo..where she showed her new skipping rope. Which has this digital counter.so much so,i went out to buy one. Hahah! I dunno la how long this would go..but m determined to do 100 jumps a day.oklah kan..kang terbarai lak c-section aku.hehhe!

Saya sangat suka!

2011-04-25T15:08:00.001+08:00

Sigh..malaysia should have these

Saya sangat suka!

2011-04-25T14:42:00.000+08:00

Sigh..malaysia should have these

sponge

2011-04-24T13:13:00.003+08:00

scene : tapping knuckles furiously. have been waiting at the drive through que for about 20 mins. damn u mcd. all i want is my hotcakes! mons screaming yayan! yayan! (jalan!jalan!)

me : m not going to smile today. no thank you too. you guys sucks today

mons : yea. sucks.

oops. opah & tokwan laughed their guts out. great mommy. look what you've done.

hotcake came. mons said maseh. m just mumbled through and drove to the park.

scene : driving towards the park. la la la la. a car in front of us signaled to the left.. and seemed to be taking forever to just get to it.

me : oh my god.. what on earth is your problem?

mons : sucks.

*LOL*

Hana & Hannah

2011-04-23T18:37:00.004+08:00

well what can i say.. i love hana tajima.. i wish i could borong everything at maysaa. heheh!

but and hannah loves this pic.. cos she loves yuna. urgh. i know. dunno why. hehehe!

Photo :yunamusic

Woots!

2011-04-21T13:18:00.001+08:00

People say we look alike. Yeke? Hmm.. probably the nose. Tee hee hee

I think i need a haircut

2011-04-19T22:32:00.001+08:00

How do i choose a hair dresser for mons?will she wail&cry? Her curls are in need of a trim. Seriously. Hee

roarrr

2011-04-18T23:47:00.005+08:00

photo credit : style pantry

now..now... it's not like m suddenly feeling patriotic over my work place.. the fact that i have to drag myself to work tomorrow ..on a public holiday..doesn't prove anything..but only because i need to raise the extra cash for my impending beautiful caftans..still a work in progress in bandung. and since my friend aas is willing to work the extra hours to sew some abaya & hijabi fashion mashion (hopefully something we can sell in teh future..kalau tak pun aku sorang je yg beli..heheh) i am therefore willing to work the extra hours. they pay triple on public holidays..haven't you heard?

tsk.

anyways..out of frustration.. and boredom.. and sheer sakit hati.. i headed out and got myself not one..not three.. but two.. wait for it.. skirts. yes. maxi skirts. oh heck. it looked good when i was size 8..now at size 14..

eii maxis are super for the well endowed ok.. tee hee hee..

but..i dunno why...i got myself a turqoise chiffon maxi.. and.. tskk.. an animal print maxi. sigh. i have never bought anything (clothing) in animal prints.. have i? i mean, hannah has tons of em zebras and leopards.. but i don't.

so i dunno.. let's wear them to work tomorrow. if only i could figure out what to wear it with.. check out this link.. takkann.. hehehe

p/s.. maxi skirts lawa pe..hehehe

work??

2011-04-18T16:51:00.001+08:00

work?? by kechik featuring a box pleat skirt

Cucu opah..

2011-04-17T18:59:00.001+08:00

Alololololo...bodek baekkk punyee

A huge mitch albom fan

2011-04-10T22:27:00.001+08:00

Amalan membaca harus diterap dari kecil. Tee hee hee

Oh yeahh..

2011-04-10T16:03:00.001+08:00

Indulgence we are here!

2011-04-01T15:11:00.001+08:00

I am NOT disabled!!

2011-04-01T07:28:00.003+08:00

photo credit to : http://qasfirdaus.blogspot.com/

as mons and caveman snooze away.. (yea he came back for a bit hehe).. i took the chance to update my blog and read my peeps'. then came across this entry by cousin yaya.. and got me totally furious! not a way i'd like to start my day, dah la flu & batuk..maki hamun lak tu..heheh

i mean.. come on! if you have ample breast milk.. fine. if you don't have much.. fine. it is very stressful when you don't have much but.. yela, dah macam tu kan. no matter how hard i tried..i just don't have much anymore. i am an advocate of breastfeeding.. i tell everyone to just try to breastfeed. but please don't tell me dorang ibu yang cacat just because they couldn't! my first reaction when i read this was.. c***i.

you & me both are breastfeeding moms. you know how it feels. you know how sensitive we are about anything relating to boobs. you know how sad it is when there were days when we just don't have enough (or don't have at all sometimes). how insensitive could you get by calling moms with no milk as cacat???!

i read she has apologize.. but who cares.. i don't even think she means it.

susu tu kan rezeki anak2. ibu2 yang menyusukan anaknya, setiap titik menghapuskan 1 dosa. dan ibu2 yang menyusukan anaknya dikecualikan dari berpuasa. semua tu ada dalam quran. tapi takde dalam quran yang sebut ibu yang takde susu tu cacat!

bitch.

Work in progress..

2011-03-30T19:07:00.001+08:00

Work finally started at the garden. Woot! Excited!

polyvore roarrrr..!

2011-03-28T23:42:00.004+08:00

when i was browsing for ideas on how to do an inspiration board for our tiny webstore (an online shop managed by my bestfriends & i, run in between what little time we have left in a day), Raana.. i came across a website named polyvore. waaaa... hebat i tell you. i was hooked. heeheh..

check this out..

Manic Monday by Raana Hijab featuring flower rings

Daddy's Girl by kechik on Polyvore.com

It gets harder everytime..

2011-03-28T20:52:00.001+08:00

When she was younger.. She would cry everynight for at least a week when her daddy leaves for work offshore. And when he comes back, it would take her just hours before she clings to his neck & feet & wouldn't leave him even for a second.

Now that she's older..(at 16 months la tapi kan hee), it took her weeks to be attached to him again. She wouldn't even let him hold her. When they finally bonded, it is time for him to leave. Again. But this time, she seemed ok with it. She walked around the house, looking for daddy. Imitating the way he laughs. No crying. Yet. Insyaallah..

The day he left, i told her daddy has to go to work & he'll come back in two months. I told her he's doing this for her. he may not be here all the time, but he loves you just the same mons. He think about you all the time. And mommy is always here for you.

And she nods. Wiped her tears. And fell asleep. And i keep telling myself not to cry. For i know he loves his job & everytime he has to go away it hurts him just as much.

She hasn't asked about him so far. as usual she would grin ear to ear everytime she watches her daddy's mms. Daddy, daddy, ha ha ha she says.Tee hee hee.

Chill

2011-03-25T18:20:00.001+08:00

Chillin w/ daddy before he leaves. Again.

chic muslimah

2011-03-21T11:31:00.001+08:00

The grass on the other side..

2011-03-20T00:52:00.001+08:00

How i picture our garden
1.thick lucsious green grass
2.pink frangipani
3.big leaves-elephant palm&bird's nest
4.ducks w/ hats@scarves
5.mushrooms big&small
6.a funny frog
7.a fat cat
8.a white bunny
9.a kissing couple
10.tweeting bird

Aahh.. That quaint little garden. That warm feeling in my belly as i walk through it in the morning. And in the evening. Leaving the shits at work behind.

How the garden looks now :
1.giant trees w/ no direction.no matlamat idup. No masa depan.
2.broken bunnies. Cats. Goblins. Kena rejam dengan mons
3.grass that's neither here nor there.

That what-the-heck is that feeling everytime i look at it. The m - gonna - burn - that - damn - tree feeling. The do - u - really - think - that - needs watering feeling.

Sigh..

My favourite things

2011-03-18T15:02:00.001+08:00

the universal word..

2011-03-17T05:33:00.002+08:00

reading yaya's post at 05:00 got me thinking (since i couldn't sleep anyway..cos i was thinking..and since i couldn't come up with a solution..i stopped thinking..but couldn't sleep so i had to think of something.. hehe)..

where does the word nenen comes from? i've heard it from my malay friends.. as well as my chinese & indonesian friends. Google doesn't seem much of a help. mostly obscene. heheh. except for a super swanky baby shop in jakarta called nenen. i kid you not.

and..does anyone ever wonder how babies picked that word up? i'm pretty sure it wasn't something we teach them to say. when i was pregnant.. i vowed not to teach hannah the word nenen..and well.. t***k. because i've seen kids say this effortlessly..tanpa sebarang pelat..heheh..and i wonder do their moms seriously teach them that.

so i didn't. when she was about 3 months old she calls it nyek. means she wants to nurse. 6 months.. 9 months.. 12 months.. still nyek. good, i thought.. i figured the word nenen is something you teach. until last month..

"mi... nak nenen t***k"

*LOL* and she came out with it herself. i mean, i doubt my parents go around saying that two words kan.. hehehhe! and i checked my friend who has a baby boy hannah's age.. and he is not breastfed.. he knows it naturally too! now hannah would stare at my boobs & giggle & say.. well.. you know what she said la.. hehhehe!

weird tak? hmmmm...

wedding..kampung&such

2011-03-15T20:27:00.001+08:00

It has been so long since i sit down & type a proper post. Not that i'm sitting down as i type this. I still find mms blogging oh so convenient. Because i can blog while i nurse. Probably the only down time of the day for me.

Anyway, march gave me quiet a scare for it was the first time hannah caught the fever bug. It was unpleasant. She didn't know what's happening to her. I didn't know what's happening to her. She woke up in the morning, in kluang, with a temperature. The next thing i knew she's all cranky&sobby. Lucky us kluang has a paed that opens on a lunch hour.she wouldn't let us bath her (which we did anyway). She wouldn't let us put that bye bye fever thing on her forehead (which i did after she fell asleep). She wouldn't eat,drink. All she wants to do is nurse. all i could do was drink gallons of water&scotts emulsion, hoping it would pass on to her. Alhamdulillah the temperature dropped by late afternoon. And she was quick to recover the next day.

The other night mare was of course my SIL's wedding. Hannah has a reputation of being an outcast @ difficult baby at my MIL's. And amongst caveman's aunts, uncles& cousins. Well, it's not her fault that she don't like being around one too many strangers all in one go kan.so the whole 3 days she clung to my feet&sobbed mii..mii (mommy). which dragged on when we went to meet my peeps at klcc. Sigh. Oh well. She was happy when we took her to burger king & toys r us after that. Hehe.

And so with that we cancelled all our other holiday plans. So the only break we had during caveman's break this time was the 2 night at traders. Which i hated. Part mat saleh je senyum sampai geraham. Part wa je, ic, credit card sume main campak atas meja je. M sure they have read my bad review by now. Ooo which reminds me i have yet to write a review on it at tripadvisor. Muhaha. Mati kau! But seriously..double standards should not happen at a shang rila group,don't you think?

2011-03-12T20:50:00.000+08:00

I used to have a little blue car when i was a toddler. Tapi kena kayuh pakai kaki. Hee.

Lesen K

2011-03-12T10:45:00.001+08:00

akikah hannah

2011-03-08T23:58:00.002+08:00

i just realised i did not even blog about this..until my cousin sent me this link..

I Love Babies!

Thanks shafik...! nanti amek gambar mons lagi e..heheheh

Penyakit berjangkit

2011-03-02T22:08:00.001+08:00

It is ..contagious! Mommy teringin..dulu kecik2 takde bye bye fever tu hehe

Why hannah likes Chilli's

2011-02-28T18:27:00.001+08:00

right before she gets confused between crayon&chicken

Swimming aftermath

2011-02-28T12:11:00.001+08:00

Lepas penat 'ming ming' (swimming)

Lapppoooo

2011-02-25T13:47:00.001+08:00

butterscotch ngap ngap

Siesta..

2011-02-21T12:35:00.001+08:00

Tapi tido sebelum zuhur tu dibenarkan..hehe

from our window..

2011-02-20T19:11:00.001+08:00

Awww..

chic muslimah..

2011-02-19T01:48:00.002+08:00

so what have i been up to lately..

well.. nothing much.. feeding off my unmanageable stress level by picking on mons (she doesn't seem to be complaining and loves the huge doses of attention).. and turning to food. so yea i've lost all my pregger weight.. but has ballooned into this thing that could not fit into any of her old clothes. read, any. read, anything pre pregger era. sigh. oh well. life must go on for we only love once. right.

so as my hubby refers my latest fashion situation..it is very muslimah mak datin. muslimah as in it is all non body hugging. no skins please. mak datin as in, oh sangatla mengada chic kinda way. LOL. oh well..whatever works la kan. and with our new online hijab project kicking off (so far alhamdulillah), i've been turning around my wardrobe into a more chic muslimah wardrobe. and by turning around i mean giving out my old clothes to make space for new ones. hahah!

and i found some local blogs that sells really kewl chic muslimah clothes like ammara, rina salleh, even hijabi boutique ..but what are they..size 4? blergh!

Boho Chic by Jamerican Muslimah featuring wide leg jeans

When she cries

2011-02-07T17:38:00.001+08:00

Everytime our guests leaves, she will get into some kind of funk. Poor mons. If there's some kind of playschool i could send her too..i would. So she could have some company for a couple of hours.

Cherry blossoms in february

2011-02-07T14:47:00.001+08:00

Tee hee hee

to the dearly departed?

2011-01-25T23:37:00.002+08:00

i was preparing the labels for the yassin books for this weekend kenduri arwah..which was initially planned for arwah mak..but with the untimely passing of tok tik.. it would for her too.. and for both my arwah grandad..

i have the labels ready.. names.. but no wordings. i know.. i know.. its a kenduri arwah..what nonsense am i talking about right? but trust me.. i have this issue everytime im asked to do labels. hehehe!

so i actually googled.. to the dearly departed.. then m like.. apekejadahnye ini? then i googled..ucapan takziah. lagi teruk. focus kechik..focus! last2 i googled.. ayat quran tentang mati. press enter. presto.

Kematian

bacalah..it is a good read. i must admit..since hannah came along there were a lot of things i overlooked. well you know la a baby is always blamed for eveything.. saggy boobs la.. 20kg degil la.. hehehhe.. unlike when i was pregnant.. i tried not to miss anything..yela, orang kata akhlak anak tu start dari dalam perut ibu. so i never took shortcuts.. i never used mp3, it was purely quran recitals, daily. when i could not stand, i sit. so long as i don't have to miss my prayers.

but that was then. then she came along. and everything was about her. there goes my prayers..my recitals. sigh.

i visited arwah mak's grave when i was in kluang last week. i went there on her birthday. 21st january. and guess what..it still has that sweet smell ..it came and go during the yassin recital. made me realise, everything else don't last.. except for your goodwills.

jadik puan2.. selamat beramal.. *hee*

january..

2011-01-25T22:47:00.002+08:00

january has been busy. super. in between my crazy work..(sampai ke bosan cameron for a meeting?? seriously?) to some sad news..

hannah for one travelled a whole lot this month.first i took her to cameron highlands.. since i cannot be away from her.. so bawakla segala buai bagai ke cameron. photos coming soon..

then found out one of my junior at school ..her 4 month old baby passed away.. tersedak susu they call it..? it happened at the baby sitter's. she choked while sleeping on her belly..or so i was told.. innalillah..

then luckily i've packed for the melaka trip.. for then i found out my other grandma passed away. i did have an entry on this.. through sms..then i just realise today it didnt got through. wat penat menaip je. so from a melaka trip (for the Bank's convention) to a trip all the way to Endau. poor hannah, it was a long (like 10 hours! inclusive of lunch break..nappy break..and berbagai2 break lagi) long drive. and instead of staying at philea melaka..she had to stay at seri malaysia endau. blergh. it tripped like, every 10mins during the day. oh well. she cant always have it good kan.. kaasik rasa dok budget hotel sikit. heheh!

so after a week of leave..m sooo not in the mood to go back to work.. sigh...

Akibat tanak makan..

2011-01-22T21:05:00.001+08:00

Tinggallah tulang di luar baju

remp-it

2011-01-21T19:13:00.001+08:00

Chillin w/ ma hommies

2011-01-16T09:05:00.001+08:00

the years gone by..

2011-01-15T04:43:00.002+08:00

after two years.. my heart still aches whenever i think of her. and i still think of her. i could not stop thinking of her. i kept thinking of my childhood with her. my adolescent years with her. my adulthood with her. how i wish she's here telling me what i should do in my motherhood years.

i kept thinking, have i done enough? was i behaving? was i misbehaving? did i hurt her gentle heart in any ways? did i tell her enough how much she means to me? did i make her cry? did i tell her how she always made me laugh? did i make her proud? did i tell her everything is ok..?

in your lifetime.. you will meet that one person that changes everything. that made you doubted everything.

she is one of them.

I miss you horribly.

Al Fatihah.

Jalan2 carik makan

2011-01-12T20:09:00.001+08:00

Saya cuma nak jalan kat cameron je ye..

High on strawberries

2011-01-12T17:37:00.001+08:00

Hannah's first cameron highland trip.. And i got her this 'thing' ..cute innit?sejuk laa hahah

Stranger anxiety

2011-01-10T05:06:00.001+08:00

Yes.. I get them when people come in to my office asking things like m the financy minister.

No la.. Remember i was blogging about how hannah cries when we have company? Or if you laughed or talked too loud in her presence? She loves a company.. But freaked out when people starts grabbing her ..or laughed out loud. My cousins all know this too well. Hehe.

I read that stranger anxiety is very normal. And they grew out of it. Eventually. My mom told me my brother had it, and would hide in his room whenever we have guests. Lagi teruk! Ahaha!

I would cringe when i hear things like .. Ala kuat nangis la die.. Or, tu la..tak selalu bawak keluar dah takut orang.. Or worst, ala hannah..sosial la sikit. And this came from someone veerrryyy close to me (no name dropping please). But the latter made me grin.. bet you'd regret saying that 13 years from now!hahaha!

It is funny when we have to always remind others to not laugh or talk too loud (our home became a shrine hahah). Or to gently fend her of pesky hands who wants to dukung her. Of course we were confronted with ugly tears when some just went ahead and grab her. And worst *gasp* walk away thinking they could make her stop cryIng. This made me furious!

Of late i notice she doesn't cry so much in the presence of others. But would still refuse to be held by strangers, except for some people whom she would be drawn to immediately for some unknown reason (theory 1 : big boobs remind her of mommy?? Theory 2 : male friends all remind her of daddy?). But i take this as an advantage. I think it is much safer that way.

So for faces similar situation like mine.. Just let your child be. she will grow out of it. Or maybe she's just shy. Which, is inherited from somewhere along your dna mix up. Don't push her to be more outgoing.. isn't she a baby? Who cares if people think you ni mengada ngada, kalut, over protective of your child. So what.. your child what..?? None of them will be there when your kid starts screaming.

supplier

2011-01-09T17:30:00.001+08:00

urgently looking for fabric supplier.. lycra & cotton lycra.. and the likes.

Heart my new mini office

2011-01-08T19:01:00.000+08:00

*swoon* dapatkan di kedai perabut aunty banyak cakap yang berdekatan

Chillin..

2011-01-03T13:56:00.001+08:00

Chilllin w/ ma peeps, eatin opah's chiken nugget!

1.1.11

2011-01-01T11:28:00.001+08:00

Happy new year peeps!

2010.. in retrospective..

2010-12-31T12:27:00.004+08:00

in 2010.. i regretted the fact that..

1. i did not fight harder for my munchkin a.k.a keledek a.k.a mon mons. i give in to the corporate evilness.. and as a result .. my milk supply depleted. although m still breastfeeding her to this date.. i wished i had stand up for her booby rights and said "i belong at home with my baby. not here". but i didn't. and i didnt even get my annual bonus! f**k

2. i didn't get to spend enough time with my nephews. as i met them in december during their school holiday... i realised they've grown up & i missed a lot of things in their life. i mean.. azim is going to be in primary 1 & i actually thought he's turning 6. sigh.

3. i did not save enough. instead i spent too much. on... what else.. baby stuff la. hahaha!

4. i was too focus in being a mom.. i forgot a whole of other things.

in 2010.. i am proud that ..

1. did not get any panic attack, being a first time mom.. assisted by my parents.. whom have lost and forgotten everything about parenting a under 12 months baby *LOL* . so even if i didn't get my bonus.. who cares.. they are my bonus.

2. managed to turn around at work & did better then last year. well.. almost.

3. i managed a household ok, without caveman around. tiring but ok. but i think i need a bibik la for 2011. *LOL*

in 2011.. i hope to :

1. continue breastfeeding mons mons..until she is ready to quit. hopefully.
2. save more. spend less. ni paling susah ni! heheh! but caveman has decided to take a 7 months unpaid leave in 2012, to under went a course. so that is very scary to me.. 7 months is long! so 2011 is to save up for that.
3. be a better mom.. physically, mentally & religiously (is that a word?).
4. organize more family reunions! wait.. m supposed to be saving up kan? dang!

buhhbyee 2010... heeloooooooooooo 2011.

Being 13

2010-12-27T20:23:00.001+08:00

1. The moment hannah hits the 1 year old mark, i noticed she looked very grown up. It is either me who dresses her up very big girly like (which i doubt) .. Or, her curls, 8 chunky & tiny teeth, made her look like one.

2. She has not started walking yet. But climbing like a commando..hell yeah. both my parents has seen her took baby steps, unfortunately i haven't. Being a working mom sucks!

3. our home is extra lively these days.. As hannah is quite a becok little munchkin. It is like having a real conversation. Almost. Hehe. Among her infamous quotes are :
1. duck = duck
2. Car = car
3. Mamam = eat
4. Nenen = its booby time! Ofcourse now she goes straight to 'ma, nak t***k!' haha!
5.nanak = tak nak / no
6. Nanak andi = tak nak mandi *lol*
7. pah = opah
8. Bah = abah @ my dad
9. Yah = my 2nd brother
10. Papa = my 1st brother
11. Acu = my youngest brother
12. Kakak = everyone else other then the above hehe
13. Nana = herself
14. Na = her plushies
15. Patti = every indian lady she sees. Patti in indian is grandma. Something she learnt from our housekeeper.
16. Mama = mommy. Hee.
17. Shaping = pisang
18. Bibird = bird
19. Park = park
20. Nak tak?
21. Shantekk = cantik/pretty

4. Still a booby baby. But it is such a sad deal when she wakes up crying at nite&m totally drained. If i hand her the formula, it got worst. She would be sobbing and screamed nanak!nanak! Sometimes when i told her i don't have milk,she'd go ada!ada! Heartbreaking. I am practically living on oats & soy now.

Smashing Passport holder

2010-12-27T19:14:00.001+08:00

Passportt holder dah siap. woots! Tq itsydoodlesshop!

X'mas greetings

2010-12-25T09:42:00.001+08:00

Merry xmas from hannah totanna..hehe

a.m treat

2010-12-23T12:16:00.001+08:00

Chillin' with mons is a great pick me up in the morning..

Rm2..and a lil bit more

2010-12-19T17:16:00.001+08:00

Hanya di lumut we get these cutesies at rm2. Well, the cubes(shelves) are rm37, at giant. Tee hee hee.

Gobok fuchsia

2010-12-19T14:01:00.001+08:00

Hah? Gobok fucshia?

Selamat pagi m'sia!

2010-12-15T08:06:00.000+08:00

Ni le baju pertama daddy saya beli masa saya dalam perut mommy..

Na..

2010-12-13T13:02:00.001+08:00

Hannah calls her birthday bunny..na. Hehe

2011 Wardrobes

2010-12-07T22:22:00.000+08:00

after 2 years.. our wardrobe is bursting at its seams. after much persuasion.. and sangat pandai tactic sang isteri (LOL).. caveman has decided to give my 2011 wardrobe overhaul an OK. woots!

2011 Wardrobes

Sleeping beauty..

2010-12-07T21:13:00.000+08:00

Awwwww...

Yammsenggg

2010-12-03T14:13:00.001+08:00

Anak dara saya dah besarrrr

Devil's own..

2010-12-02T18:42:00.001+08:00

Yummsyy

Chicks

2010-11-30T20:48:00.003+08:00

Dear mon mons..
Please don't grow up too fast. and borrow my bags & tiffany's.

Sleeping beauty..

2010-11-30T20:48:00.001+08:00

Tee hee hee..

Picture perfect

2010-11-30T20:44:00.001+08:00

Since hannah was an ..emm.. foetus..we have been crazy photographing every single thing. From the ultrasound, through the dslr, through handphones.

For her birthday, i did a wall of fame of her. Of 16 of the best photos since day 1 (some months i couldn't decide so i picked 2. Hei, it is my wall what..hee).

but the best photo finally came from my mom's old nokia. This was taken last week during my lunch break.