Thinking cap : on!

What's on my mind today.. (part one)

To reschedule our life. By our i meant mons and i. Why? I cannot take the tantrum meltdowns anymore. And two, i have to prep her for school. Something she really wants to do.

So m thinking a huge colourful board with pictures , and a cute wall clock ( nak jugak alasan membeli LOL).


How to bla bla bla.. 

Mommy, i have issues (part 1)

My mons mons always have a bad case of constipation. An absolute nightmare for both of us. I hate watching her cry for hours. We tried everything.

Graveyard shift

Going to bed without the boobs has really changed mons sleeping patterns. She would sleep at 12..wakes up at 4..and sleeps again at 7! If m lucky, i could take her to the park.. And she's running around like she has slept for 8 hours the night before.. Comes back from the park and. Sleeps until 4. Or.. Sleeps At 7, and woke up at 4. Or, sleeps at 4, and wakes up at 4.

Confused? So am i. Heheehe. So i dunno what time her 2nd birthday party shall be.. And has cancelled all holiday plans. Sigh..

Did i mention she has sorta relapsed? But she goes back to the boobs for like once a day. For a fix i think. Junkie. Hehehhe

self led..

has it been that long?? my last post was 27th july! well.. it has been a super crazy couple of months. which drained the hell out of me.

but i finally blogged again.. because.. mons has wean herself of the breast. by herself. and it has been a very emotional 3 days for me. with no one to turn to cos i dunno anyone who went through the same thing. sobs.

i did notice she was nursing a lot last week.. and the last few days all she does is bite, bite bite. so on monday night i sort of..sort screamed at her to stop biting or i'll stop breastfeeding her. she cried a bit. and that night everytime i tried nursing her, she'd cry her eyes out saying "nanakkk nanakkk noooo noooo"

she ended up sleeping at 5am that day. i tried again the next day.. and she still refuses me outright. which hurts. really bad. and she wasn't quiet herself with me. my mom told me she was kind of quiet, and was just hanging around her and hugging her a lot during the last 2 days.

tonight she's all huggy2 with me. and it made me wonder was it because of the meltdown we had on monday night..was she still sulking..? but she can't be that determined kan?

well.. she is. she would come up to me and say.."mimi (mommy), nak nen..(nenen)" and would stop mid sentence and says "tak, tak (no, no)". like, something triggered her that she shouldn't be doing this. it kills me to see that!

i know she saved me tonnes ..i cant sleep at night thinking how in the world am i going to wean her.. my friends are already tell me their horror weaning stories.. letak kunyit la.. kopi la.. segala bagai.. but when she self wean abruptly.. i felt totally rejected.

and tonight, she just hugged me.. and fell asleep.

sigh. emo gua minggu ni.

Mommy&mons

sponge

scene : tapping knuckles furiously. have been waiting at the drive through que for about 20 mins. damn u mcd. all i want is my hotcakes! mons screaming yayan! yayan! (jalan!jalan!)

me : m not going to smile today. no thank you too. you guys sucks today

mons : yea. sucks.

oops. opah & tokwan laughed their guts out. great mommy. look what you've done.

hotcake came. mons said maseh. m just mumbled through and drove to the park.

scene : driving towards the park. la la la la. a car in front of us signaled to the left.. and seemed to be taking forever to just get to it.

me : oh my god.. what on earth is your problem?

mons : sucks.

*LOL*

the universal word..

reading yaya's post at 05:00 got me thinking (since i couldn't sleep anyway..cos i was thinking..and since i couldn't come up with a solution..i stopped thinking..but couldn't sleep so i had to think of something.. hehe)..

where does the word nenen comes from? i've heard it from my malay friends.. as well as my chinese & indonesian friends. Google doesn't seem much of a help. mostly obscene. heheh. except for a super swanky baby shop in jakarta called nenen. i kid you not.

and..does anyone ever wonder how babies picked that word up? i'm pretty sure it wasn't something we teach them to say. when i was pregnant.. i vowed not to teach hannah the word nenen..and well.. t***k. because i've seen kids say this effortlessly..tanpa sebarang pelat..heheh..and i wonder do their moms seriously teach them that.

so i didn't. when she was about 3 months old she calls it nyek. means she wants to nurse. 6 months.. 9 months.. 12 months.. still nyek. good, i thought.. i figured the word nenen is something you teach. until last month..

"mi... nak nenen t***k"

*LOL* and she came out with it herself. i mean, i doubt my parents go around saying that two words kan.. hehehhe! and i checked my friend who has a baby boy hannah's age.. and he is not breastfed.. he knows it naturally too! now hannah would stare at my boobs & giggle & say.. well.. you know what she said la.. hehhehe!

weird tak? hmmmm...

#613

when i was single.. whenever my nephews are back in town for the school holidays.. they would frown how opah's place has no cartoon channels. who's gonna watch them then..? my parents?

then we moved in to my place.. and still no cartoon channel. once my nephew asked me :

ajiq : mama, nanti anak mama tak tengok cartoon ke?
me : tak. anak mama tengok animal planet je.
ajiq : tak masuk akal.

then we have hannah. i was hesitating to subscribe. but then i figured.. why not. she might learn something from it.

so far she only liked the ones in the playhouse disney channel. they're quiet good i must say. educational to say the least. she especially loves :

di ding bo ding dibo dibo ding! heheh!



three special steps! special agent OSO. sekarang nak bagik makan ubat pun kena pakai lagu ni.. baru jalan..heheh!



and of course.. mickey mouse clubhouse.. hotdog!!! heehhehe!



kadang tu hannah dah ke mana2.. opah & mommy ternganga depan tv.. hehhehe!

pre syawal

since caveman will be offshore this raya.. we decided to take our Raya photo earlier.. so he can take it on board with him.. awww.. how thoughtful of me.. kahkahkah!

with the help of a coffee table.. a pooch.. a book.. here's the result.

disclaimer : yes.. i need to loose those damn weight.. but hei.. m a nursing mom la..ehehhe!

daddy's home!

yeay. caveman's home after a short stint of 2 months offshore. yes, his contracts are now for 2 months only. wee!

unfortunately.. the previously lovely home coming he had in april was not so lovely this time around. hannah screamed.. sobbed.. scrreamed.. sobbed.. when she saw him. and would not go near him. i kid you not.

let's see where she;ll let him sleep tonight. hahahhaha!

a little bluesy..

yes.. i believe all moms go through a bluesy mood once in a while. i feel tired.. depressed.. broke.. all at once. it feels too overwhelming. and the whole week last week i was going around the office like a moody bitch on a really bad period. teehee. and no, i am not menstruating. hehe!

all i want to do is go home & curl up by myself. but could i when munchkin is tagging on my feet with a smile like these?

sigh... i love my life. the only thing i need is her..

p/s : thank you mama siti yang belikan baju beach bum lumut ni.. nak suh mommy gi beli.. kat lumut tu.. m not a tourist in this town ok.. heheh!

a.s.i.

dulu.. when i saw pil asi.. i was wondering what it was.. ooo rupanye asi means air susu ibu. d'uh. i was googling for baby recipes (aku pandai copy paste je.. execution is by my mom ... tu yang die hangin je tu. hehe) ..and came across this page on milk boosters.. very interesting..

Petua menambahkan asi

there are some things here that i did not predict could increase milk supply.. such as lychees..potatoes.. cheese.. yumsyums. i am still avoiding dairies (due to the bad colic it gave hannah when she was 2 months old). but m thinking of introducing cheese & yogurt in her solids.. will it cause colic too?

hmm...

little missy missing daddy..

as caveman's holiday is coming to an end.. hannah grew super attached to her "dede" (daddy the way she calls him).. and she gets very upset when daddy is not in her sight. once, she woke up sobbing.. crying "dede! dede".. its heart breaking, i swear!

oh man... this is going to be tough. and she is only 6 months old..

and he's leaving tomorrow.. and i just cannot imagine what's in store for me in the next couple of days. with her teething.. and her double shots coming up.. huarghhh!!

sigh..

hannah oh hannah..

mommies.. read on..

do you know that if you expressed some 0.5 to 20z per session.. you are normal? and 4oz is excessive? bet you didn't know that.. at least i didn't. why oh why didnt i read this article before? i wouldn't be so sad if i did. teehee.

I'm not pumping enough milk. What can I do?

the one when we went away part 2

Day 2 was supposed to be mommy's&opah's day.ala bukan nak beli ape pun,m running out of nursing bra&need to register for the celcom broadband (goodbuhhbye streamshits!u suxxx!).

So today i've decided to use the mothercare carrier,which i dislike for the super many harness(at one point you will feel like you're going hiking,intead of carrying a baby).the last time i used it was when hannah was 2 months old.little did i know,she has outgrown it,and she couldn't rest her head on the cushioned head thingy for she is taller then it.

But it was still ok,she even slept in it while i go around getting my stuff.its much kinder on my shoulder&back too.

i wanted to nurse her in the surau, unfortunately the aircond was on timer&will only be switched on when the prayer time is approaching.it was only 12pm then.since she's still asleep,we decided to have lunch&maybe i could nurse her then.ceh,berani la konon.tengok2 punyele sempit antara meja&kusi tu.so i had to walk all the way back to the surau&feed her.she kept smiling at me as i was blowing her face to keep her cool.peluh wa jangan cite la,menjejeh jejeh dah.hehe!

overall,it was a good trip.and as i type back in our big bedt, while hannah is nursing..i realised maybe hannah is ok with all these shopping trips or whatever kind of trips.all she needs in mommy&the air conditioner.hehe!

And by the way,we later discovered there is a baby room just a sneeze away from where we were having lunch.with a couch&a/c.sigh..

And biotherm has discontinued my favourite body spray.ohhh nooo...

the one where we went away part 1

After 4 months of hibernation,i finally picked up anough courage to take hannah away for a mini weekend holiday.i was to attend a course (which i detest) on a saturday in ipoh.on a positive note (motherhood does weird things to you),i figured it would be a great way to test hannah's endurance (hee) on long distance trip,what works&otherwise,and a good break for my parents&i.

Nevermind we had to stay in one of the oldest hotel in ipoh,as the course was in the same building (nursing would be a lift button away,instead of driving/walking to another better hotel)..i was super excited to finally get out for a breather.

After much planning (told ya packing for a weekend is way harder then a 2 week backpacking trip),a sleepy hannah was further snoozed via the booby in the car.it was 7pm&she was very confused as her car rides was usually in the morning.but she nursed on anyway.and sat in her infant seat for a bit.and nursed some more.the moment we got to the hotel,she was very excited.realising she's not on mommy's bed tonight got her even more excited.hee.she was all girly screamy&later fell asleep with not much hesitation.

After a not so yummy breakfast,it was difficult for hannah to fell asleep on her own as she usually sleeps in the swing.ofcourse la tok wan taknak angkut buai bagai naik turun hotel.and since her fisher price swing couldn't arrive on time,opah le kena jadik swing.hee.

I could only endure 1 1/2 hour of the course,which was unbelievably torturing.i couldn't care less what the consequences would be,i'd rather be with hannah.

After lunch & a short nap,we took her to ipoh parade.after a while(a while of running around grabbing some clothes for her,jakun,lama tak keluar),i realised her back was drenched in sweat.so i switched from the stroller to a sling pouch.i thought i could nurse her while we stop for a drink.but the damn restaurant's a/c was out&my mom had already started to feed her with cereal.aiyah.and she started to get cranky.my november baby is truly winter baby.hee.

She was a bit difficult that night.i seriously couldn't recall what i had that might cause some tummy trouble (her scream was one of those ear piercing kinds).

Lesson learnt on day 1 :

a.meticulous planning may make you a weirdo,but it eliminates tons of 'oh my god,we didn't (fill in the blanks)' scenes.

b.her maxi cossi was black.thus,gets warmer&warmer.i think.but i have these supposedly cooling,white padding on them.she's not ready for the quinny zap,yet.sigh..

c.carrying a 7kg'er' in a sling pouch is not funny.fooh.but i didn't bring her soft structured carrier (ssc) as i couldn't make her do a froggy,or spread her legs.but the carrier caveman got for himself is in the car.ought to try that tomorrow.

d.m still not ready for public nursing.hee.

e.never forget your nursing diet even on holidays.i almost bought a thai pulut&mangga (sticky rice eaten with mango&coconut milk).yummy.luckily it struck me at the last minute that pulut is gassy.sigh.

f.m not much of a bag person.probably buys a good one,once a year (ei but that doesn't make me less of a woman ok hee).i've realised my current hanndbag (which is the usual large nine west that i love) is not mommy material.its just not big enough,between the sling pouch,the nursing cover,her diaper clutch cum changing mat,camera (camwhores!),snot wipes,bum wipes,what nots.so i got myself a bigger bag.cute.murah lak tu.

g.flats, is the way to go

nursing in public..

i haven't.. have you..?
i have a nursing cover.. do you?
hannah now flips the nursing cover over.. does yours?

sigh..

kechik on.. parenting

when i was a kid.. i thought being a parent is easy peasy. being a mom, atleast, is easy. i mean, my mom is a stay home mom. she cooks..and cleans..and my dad taught me how to swim, play hockey, took me out to footy games and boxing matches.. my mom only have to feed me..keep me safe.. and clean. wait.. at a certain age group i will only shower when my dad is around. yes.. i am that spoilt.

but i turn out allrite..and my mom is still my everything. see.. easy, right?

then .. i become a mom. oh my.

when i think long and hard.. really.. the last time i had a break and get to do things at my own bloody sweet time.. was the day i was induced. seriously. who says confinement period is all holiday for recuperating mommies? i had none. its all about hannah. i think i took care of her less now that m back to work. heheh.

Before i had hannah, i always had new clothes, had time for mtv, saw lots of movies, always did my hair and make-up (although i only like wearing benefit's base), wore clean-stain-free clothes, wore heels (or cute flats) everyday, had a spotless house, left the house whenever I wanted, did all my laundry in one day, drove a vios like its suppose to be driven, went on vacation at a moments notice, stayed up late and slept in late, ate out whenever I wanted. and my heavenly massages and facials and salon trips.

now..

my online shopping blogs were all bookmarked at blogs selling baby's clothes. her closet is bursting at the edges. and she's only 4 months. facials?? a thing in the past. hair.. as short as it gets.. and my vios could no longer accomodate all of us..although she's less then 90cm. but her diaper bag, car seat, katak juling (dont ask), stroller..what not. plan trips to the store between feedings, never go out after 7:00 bedtime, rarely eat out, wear flip-flops everyday, do laundry every day of the week. and dont get me started on holidays. that, has yet to be ventured into. i still dont have the guts. plus, caveman is still away. if he's around at least there's someone else to blame.hehehe

but i adapted. shit, showered, shaved in 15 mins (shower alone used to take 15 mins).. i plan and appreciate time better. anything that spells meaningless..or wasteful is out of the picture. at the end of the day.. i am a lot happier now. heck i am even more comfortable in my mommy body then i ever was before. nothing beats the sloppy kisses, her tiny fingers pinching my neck, her addictive gummy smile..

i think i like being a mommy..hee

sippies!!!

woooo!! she took 2oz from her sippy cup!! woooooottt!!!!!!

(mommy excited tahap cipan angkasa)

menambahkan keghairahan (yes, i know what that means) membeli electric pump.. yearghhh!!!

p/s : ladies.. please get an electric pump to express at the office surau. this is to avoid being jeling"ed" by your superior for spending 30mins expressing 4oz. 6oz on good days.

bootcamp : the verdict

it seemed my unpaid leave is still pending approval. sigh. so back to work i went on monday. dengan muka sangat bosan.

and how did the 2 week bootcamp went?

1. hannah still refuses the bottle. and i haven't given up. insyaAllah.
2. she has picked up on solids. very well i might add. and i've taken prune essence to help her poop. she keeps em for 7 days.hehehe!
3. her sleep pattern is erratic.
4. she nurses less during the day due to the solids. so now i pump, pump, pump to keep the milk level up cos i've been noticing a slump.
5. she squeals and coos so much these days its hilarious. and her laughing out loud is just so funny to watch.
6. i haven't had any free time. who says stay home moms have it easy? but still have time for online shopping. kahkhakahkah!
7. hannah dah sunat. woot! tak nangis, tak cebik, tak terkejut, just a big grin when my GP said "dah!". mommy yang nangis. yes, i've gone from wonder woman to wantan woman. oh well.

all in all.. i love being at home with her. i dont think i miss work 1 minute! although i did have to go back to the office a couple of times to finish up some work. which, was still unfinished until monday. hee.

sigh..i wish caveman would just say..ok, you can quit. sekali siiiuttt aku antor surat. i read, somewhere.. anak tu amanah Allah (oh yea mamamya mentioned this to me too)..so ape salahnye wa benti nak jaga anak wa kan? i think it has been casually mentioned to the outlaws and during their visit last week..they casually mentioned they didnt like the idea.

ada aku kisah?

hee