Al Fatihah

This year, i witness the demise of a friend's parent. twice. never before have i faced this. let alone in my own family.

the first friend.. her father passed away in february. ironically.. it was days before her 28th birthday. i havent seen her for 5 good years when i got the txt message in the wee hours of the morning. i drove to her place, with another old friend. and throughout the whole journey i kept thinking of what to tell her. this friend.. a very bubbly and freakily funny one.. is still the same person when i met her after the funeral. but i can see tears welling up in the corner of her eyes as she animatedly spoke of her late dad. it was a surprise farewell she says. she didnt even get to ask for his forgiveness. the last she spoke to him, she was teasing him how she hopes the PTPTN would lock her up cos she refuses to pay em back. i couldnt console her. i didnt know how.

the other friend..she has been telling about her mom's illness (cancer of the pancreas) since july. and since then.. she.. the brave one.. bulldoze it through. also the funny bone among my friends.. has somehow expected this. yesterday she told me she's leaving the office early as her mummy has been admitted. again. today, at 2.00 pm she texted me saying her mummy's has passed away. the whole office drove to ipoh. she has an emotionless look on her face as i walked through the door. i could see still her mum's face. baru je kapan. my friend looked stone cold. but the moment she kissed her mum & broke down, i realy couldnt contain myself. and like the first scenario, i also didnt say anythin to console her.

as i drove home today.. i think of my 2 friends. this Eid would be so different for them. i cannot imagine how they would feel. and in both situation, another friend who's always bubbly will be the one consoling them. and today i realise how they did it. they both have also lost a parent.

until then, i realy dun wanna know how it feels.

Al Fatihah...