Graveyard shift

Going to bed without the boobs has really changed mons sleeping patterns. She would sleep at 12..wakes up at 4..and sleeps again at 7! If m lucky, i could take her to the park.. And she's running around like she has slept for 8 hours the night before.. Comes back from the park and. Sleeps until 4. Or.. Sleeps At 7, and woke up at 4. Or, sleeps at 4, and wakes up at 4.

Confused? So am i. Heheehe. So i dunno what time her 2nd birthday party shall be.. And has cancelled all holiday plans. Sigh..

Did i mention she has sorta relapsed? But she goes back to the boobs for like once a day. For a fix i think. Junkie. Hehehhe

self led..

has it been that long?? my last post was 27th july! well.. it has been a super crazy couple of months. which drained the hell out of me.

but i finally blogged again.. because.. mons has wean herself of the breast. by herself. and it has been a very emotional 3 days for me. with no one to turn to cos i dunno anyone who went through the same thing. sobs.

i did notice she was nursing a lot last week.. and the last few days all she does is bite, bite bite. so on monday night i sort of..sort screamed at her to stop biting or i'll stop breastfeeding her. she cried a bit. and that night everytime i tried nursing her, she'd cry her eyes out saying "nanakkk nanakkk noooo noooo"

she ended up sleeping at 5am that day. i tried again the next day.. and she still refuses me outright. which hurts. really bad. and she wasn't quiet herself with me. my mom told me she was kind of quiet, and was just hanging around her and hugging her a lot during the last 2 days.

tonight she's all huggy2 with me. and it made me wonder was it because of the meltdown we had on monday night..was she still sulking..? but she can't be that determined kan?

well.. she is. she would come up to me and say.."mimi (mommy), nak nen..(nenen)" and would stop mid sentence and says "tak, tak (no, no)". like, something triggered her that she shouldn't be doing this. it kills me to see that!

i know she saved me tonnes ..i cant sleep at night thinking how in the world am i going to wean her.. my friends are already tell me their horror weaning stories.. letak kunyit la.. kopi la.. segala bagai.. but when she self wean abruptly.. i felt totally rejected.

and tonight, she just hugged me.. and fell asleep.

sigh. emo gua minggu ni.

the chemistry between us..

Whenever m on long leave.. her monsy cheeks came back. She eats well. Sleeps well. She's just a whole lot happier. Now.. Why can't that be the biggest reason to leave work? Sigh. Heehee (alasan)

The day i became wiser

Probably the longest overdue thing on my list..to have my wisdom teeth removed. I've been having these on&off pain for years. But since my dentist assured me it either my flu.. Or a sinus (which i never had),or 'i just can't see it coming yet (well, d'uhh??). Until i insisted on an xray last may. Or was it april.

And there they weRe. All 4 of them. I think i've told this story before.

So i had to wait for caveman to come home to get the surgery done. As i was initially told i had to be warded for 1 night. Sigh. I was more worried about mons, then of the surgery.

The best news came a day before the surgery when they told me its a day thing. Means i can leave in the evening. Yeay!

So there we were, at 6.30 am at pantai hospital,ipoh. As scheduled. Got to my ward, it was a 4 bedded ward. Which i hated. I have never been hospitalised before (mons was delivered at a private ob-gyn). Got my scrubs. And waited. The Wifi was so laju i tell ya. Hehe! So that wasn't so bad.

Then some nurses came. Then my dentist came. Said it is scheduled at 9.30, and it should end by 10.30. but as i will be under GA (general anestethic), the recovery will take some time. Urgh.

Wheelchaired out of the ward (first time too), into the operating theather, i lost count of the number of people who asked me 'is there any allergies that we should know off?'.

There's a waiting bay. A parking bay. And so many people running around. 1 medical officer. 1 anestethis. More nurses. All smily faces trying to make me feel better. Geez. The operating theater was white. And huge. And cold. at one point i thought this ain't a dental surgery, this is cardiac! Recite my zikir once the oxygen came on,and alhamdulilah i was still reciting it when i woke up.

The chronology was .. 9.30, starts. 10.30 ends. 12.30 woke up. Threw up.Gibberrish. Bla bla laloq. 4.30pm fully awake.

my throat was dry. Had no voice. Dried blood in my lips&nose. lapar. the warm barley the nurse gave me almost killed me. Sakit! I was on ice diet since. had tutti fruiti on our way back. Yums.

And turn out, they only extracted the bottom horizontal wisdom teeth. The upper teeth were too far up. Sigh. Now all i can eat is cold porridge. And mons has probably gained her monsy cheecks back now that m at home. And i have lost 3kg to date. Nevermind the squared jaws. Heheh!

Walaupun..

Dearly missed..

Al fatihah..

Saya suka kedai buku!