self led..

has it been that long?? my last post was 27th july! well.. it has been a super crazy couple of months. which drained the hell out of me.

but i finally blogged again.. because.. mons has wean herself of the breast. by herself. and it has been a very emotional 3 days for me. with no one to turn to cos i dunno anyone who went through the same thing. sobs.

i did notice she was nursing a lot last week.. and the last few days all she does is bite, bite bite. so on monday night i sort of..sort screamed at her to stop biting or i'll stop breastfeeding her. she cried a bit. and that night everytime i tried nursing her, she'd cry her eyes out saying "nanakkk nanakkk noooo noooo"

she ended up sleeping at 5am that day. i tried again the next day.. and she still refuses me outright. which hurts. really bad. and she wasn't quiet herself with me. my mom told me she was kind of quiet, and was just hanging around her and hugging her a lot during the last 2 days.

tonight she's all huggy2 with me. and it made me wonder was it because of the meltdown we had on monday night..was she still sulking..? but she can't be that determined kan?

well.. she is. she would come up to me and say.."mimi (mommy), nak nen..(nenen)" and would stop mid sentence and says "tak, tak (no, no)". like, something triggered her that she shouldn't be doing this. it kills me to see that!

i know she saved me tonnes ..i cant sleep at night thinking how in the world am i going to wean her.. my friends are already tell me their horror weaning stories.. letak kunyit la.. kopi la.. segala bagai.. but when she self wean abruptly.. i felt totally rejected.

and tonight, she just hugged me.. and fell asleep.

sigh. emo gua minggu ni.

I am NOT disabled!!

photo credit to : http://qasfirdaus.blogspot.com/

as mons and caveman snooze away.. (yea he came back for a bit hehe).. i took the chance to update my blog and read my peeps'. then came across this entry by cousin yaya.. and got me totally furious! not a way i'd like to start my day, dah la flu & batuk..maki hamun lak tu..heheh

i mean.. come on! if you have ample breast milk.. fine. if you don't have much.. fine. it is very stressful when you don't have much but.. yela, dah macam tu kan. no matter how hard i tried..i just don't have much anymore. i am an advocate of breastfeeding.. i tell everyone to just try to breastfeed. but please don't tell me dorang ibu yang cacat just because they couldn't! my first reaction when i read this was.. c***i.

you & me both are breastfeeding moms. you know how it feels. you know how sensitive we are about anything relating to boobs. you know how sad it is when there were days when we just don't have enough (or don't have at all sometimes). how insensitive could you get by calling moms with no milk as cacat???!

i read she has apologize.. but who cares.. i don't even think she means it.

susu tu kan rezeki anak2. ibu2 yang menyusukan anaknya, setiap titik menghapuskan 1 dosa. dan ibu2 yang menyusukan anaknya dikecualikan dari berpuasa. semua tu ada dalam quran. tapi takde dalam quran yang sebut ibu yang takde susu tu cacat!

bitch.

a.s.i.

dulu.. when i saw pil asi.. i was wondering what it was.. ooo rupanye asi means air susu ibu. d'uh. i was googling for baby recipes (aku pandai copy paste je.. execution is by my mom ... tu yang die hangin je tu. hehe) ..and came across this page on milk boosters.. very interesting..

Petua menambahkan asi

there are some things here that i did not predict could increase milk supply.. such as lychees..potatoes.. cheese.. yumsyums. i am still avoiding dairies (due to the bad colic it gave hannah when she was 2 months old). but m thinking of introducing cheese & yogurt in her solids.. will it cause colic too?

hmm...

Fasting & breastfeeding..

After much contemplating.. I have finally decided to fast. to replace all the 28 days that i have missed, last ramadhan. Sigh.

Many have warned how it will decrease my milk supply. But hei, come ramadhan this year.. It still has to be done right? Although just like pregger moms, nursing moms have some exceptions.

My 1st attempt failed gloriously (sahur at 5, nurse at 5.40, nurse again at 7, 7.30 m a veggie.. 8.00am..buka!haha). So with hannah by my side, i had rice for sahur (i have never in my 23 years of fasting had rice for sahur).

So here's to berpuasa peeps! Tips are welcomed..

At the end of the day..

After considering all factors&tips given by my peeps (including comments given by my blogsphere peeps).. I am determined to increase my dairy (lol) output,no matter what.

Then i realised what m doing wrong.

I have probably tried every food&drink recommended but still fail. Something is wrong somewhere. Then i realise i am edgy most of the time while expressing. Well, this is the office by th way. And knowing sexyback is totally against me just adds more stress. While nursing i am completely calm, having my cheeky keledek grinning while on the boobs.

So i've decided a change in game plan. Yesterday, I walk into the surau with an empty mind, focusing only on my booby mission (the fact that sexyback has been away since wednesday is a major boost). Armed with my handphone with all hannah's photos & recitals that i need, i start expressing. Every other issues around me were non existent. Only hannah. And zikir.

Alhamdullilah,it worked! So it is true that stress is the no 1 culprit when your milk production is low. And no supplement, food or drink can help you if you can't kick the stress to the curb. At least, during nursing and expressing.

And i find all the milk booster drink / food worked better too. Before i think none worked for me. Including fenugreek (halba). I think it is working its magic better now. Thanks anis!

So mommies.. The key is.. to stay as calm as possible. We can do this (wahh tiba2 rasa macam booby bootcamp je hahahhaha)

The compilation..

I've been on a serious food / drink hunt since i started breastfeeding hannah on her second day. I would practically eat (and drink) anything & everything people suggest as milk booster. Most worked, some were gassy or gave me a migraine. The gassier ones will be avoided, the migraine induced will be braved through.

Some of those that i've tried to increase my milk supply are :
1. Horlicks (thumbs up! But m pretty sick of after a month)

2. Red dates & dried longan combo (this worked wonders,especially during my confinement. But now it gave me a migraine. I find normal longan works too).

3. Oats (no wonder my milk supply were ample before. I had this for breakfast, for the whole 40 days. Now m back to oats, not only for breakfast..but every couple of hours. Hee)

4. Sawi cina @ bak / pak choy?? Or something (yummy. Ratah le banyak2).

5. Anything masak lemak as it is said coconut milk is a milk booster.

6. Sardine (yums!)

7. Lobak putih (tried this once. It worked but i dunno why my mom doesn't cook them anymore. No reviews were done i presume? Hee)

8. Anmum materna. Jangan malas minum susu ye ibu ibu.

9. Everything soy & dairy. Unfortunately it gave hannah a bad gas,and wind. So i am now dairy & soy intolerant. Which means no ice cream ye puan puan. Sigh.

10. Bubur kacang hijau. Got this through twiggy's blog. Tq darl! worked like wonders. But, err, how much of these can you take anyway kan? Telan je la!! Hee.

I've tried those milk booster teas. Gas. And m waiting for my supplement which i bought via fabulous mom to arrive. My cousin kak etty used to tell me fenugreek worked. Verdict will be updated.

usually when something worked, i'd be texting my breastauranters.. Cousin yaya & bestie maya. And there will be quick updates on the latest ounces too. Which, i swear, when we no longer breastfeed..would be something funny to reminisce.

Asma ul husna..

While browsing & taking notes on ways to improve my depleting milk supply..i got really dizzy&decided to pick up a book instead. I saw my asma ul husna book,untouched. Since hannah came along, i haven't been reading. Anything. Seriously.

Thinking, let's learn something. When i was pregnant, i picked up quiet a lot from my usually untouched religious books. Well,it is said parenting starts in the womb. there were a lot of asma ul husna (99 names of Allah) that was useful during pregnancy. I figured, there must be a lot that can be used, as a parent.

And voila! I found al - matin (maha sempurna kekuatannya, utmost perfect strength, rougly la). recite ya matin 70 times, hembus ke dalam air untuk diminum..InsyaAllah susunya akan menjadi banyak (untuk ibu ibu yang tidak banyak susu). Daily ye ibu ibu.

hendaklah dicuba dengan sepenuh hati yang ikhlas ye ibu ibu (part ni aku tabuh je..but true what. Faith is the key)

InsyaAllah..

P/s : dibaca 10x &hembus kepada anak, insyaAllah mereka akan dijauhi dari melakukan zina