Saturday, 29 August 2009
a silent moment please..
i never thought some of the quirky things i read about being pregnant could be true. like.. weird dreams. ive been getting the weirdest since i hit my 6th month. and every week there'll always be a dream about my school peeps, especially lis & reena. does this mean munchkin is going to be a combo of the 2? *f.a.i.n.t* hahahahah! once, i dreamt we all had to go for national service... but it was like on a ship.. then i got hit by the waves.. and khemy was there. hahahahah!
as my nesting mode kicks in (if you have never heard of it.. read up.. i once thought its fiction.. i now think its taking over me).. i find myself cleaning up everything.. planning it all. i even cleaned up the store today. and found 3 boxes of wedding stuff, ribbons, sponges, tons of styrofoams, and what have yous .. enough to plan a mini wedding *LOL*
and i finally get the chance to start packing my bag for the birth-day. creepy. seriously. so far munchkin's stuff is almost done.. mine.. well.. with the kain batik downstairs.. and the socks no where to be found.. and haven't had the time to buy some more stuff (pads, disposable undies..as suggested..) but my toiletries bag is done. which was funny cos at one point i almost called one of my mommy peeps to asked do i need shampoos & facial cleanser.. and why the hell is there a facial scrub in here?! *LOL* then i realise the only think i'd be needing was probably a toothbrush& tooth paste.. but i dunno. i still snuck in my bath&body mist *grin*
then reality hits me.. m gonna be a mommy in about 73 days (or less???!)!!! i have concluded that giving birth & confinement is not what scares me.. but the aftermath. the parenting. what if i make a bad mommy? what if i make ugly choices for her? what if i neglect her? what if i neglect caveman for her? what if i neglect myself? what if my parents think m a bad parent? huarghhhhhhhhh!!
sigh... somebody pass me the sundae please..